Brain-Storm-2

This frustration; Ventilation through veins which I feel pain.

Her temptation; inhalation of thoughts that seem insane.

Deprivation; These sensations that I cannot ignore.

Been down this road too many times || Still I. .|| Try to explore.

Her mind; So divine. Can I be more than a thought.

Too distraught; I think naught. Steal my love, but don’t get caught.

 

 

Raining down from the heavens; my words. .  they mean to heal.

Does that mean we are all broken?

 

 

Misused

I’ve been misused by hands colder than I . . . The abuse comes and it goes.

They’ve thrown away my hopes and dream and replaced them all of my woes.

Their grip tightens around my neck. . . .eyes burn bright with resolve. .

The reflection in them paints a picture. .the saddest picture of all.

There lies a man who still believes. . .he has a reason to ‘Be’.

Truth be told, his soul was sold. . .searching for love, you see?

All he found, were the hands that bound. . . and now. .

He’ll never be free.

 

 

No Name. 3

I stay high as a kite . . .I like to reach for the stars.

Was told my love wasn’t ‘right’: I said: “add that to my scars.”

I stay suspended in fear; Thoughts of living the reason.

Words can only compare. .to things I’ve truly been feeling.

Can’t seem to do anything. . . .all I do is fail.

Can’t seem make the jump; As I stand upon the rail.

I try to make love, but all I see is hate.

Thought I could make a different, but, I guess that I’m too late.

Shadow

I see her in your shadow. The memory fades into view.

Eyes watch carefully for those delicate flaws to take root.

What it would mean to have old soil produce better gaze.

Could shadow cast be the reminder that the sun has set and time has passed.

Why do I want to reach out and touch the shadow that stretches far and wide.

Farther than my reach and deeper than the feelings one hide.

Forced to forget the slits you thought worthy upon your wrist in my name.

The shadow of a woman whose heart remains ashamed…

To have ever come close…to a light that burned too bright the night. . .

One who now fights the urge to remember that which hurts. .

Because those are the only memories that remain…forever a shadow of what was.

 

 

Running

For too long I’ve been running away from thoughts of being happy.

I wonder when I began to hate myself so much.

I deny myself the greater things in life that keep me in touch.

With those who surround me and lift me up to feel content.

Meanwhile all I crave is for a cold blade to get bent. ..

into the hearts of those I love.

I’m selfish until I feel selfless enough to give you my pain.

Eyes wander deep as thoughts questions the brain.

I’m not crazy. I’m not reckless. I’m not insane. I just refuse to let society tame the beast that feasts

on the innocence of those deemed lucky.

Wondering why now all of a sudden . . .the world wants to fuck me. .

then tuck me. .in the bed I made for the enemies of tomorrow.

While yesterday just. .wants to stay in my darkened hollow.

Chest.

 

 

Writers Block

Can’t seem to find the words to describe what it is I lack.

Looking for what motivates to pick up on my slack.

Feeling drained of my artistic adrenaline rush. World’s greatest canvas; but dry remains the brush.

Used to be told to “Hush” these thoughts of suicide that never seem to die. Walking unaffected with baggage that make others want to cry.

I know the truth yet for some reason I can’t stop this lie…I tell myself in the mirror.

“It’s not your fault. You are the monster your peers created.”

If that’s true then why must I stay heavily sedated.

Why not go all out on the world. Why not add to the darkness and turmoil?

Because I created myself.

If I told you I didn’t like being evil don’t believe me. If you see me helping others PLEASE don’t percieve me; to be a good guy or die by my hands.

I got a date with the devil so no, we can not make “plans.” Fuck people who do things like this for their “Fans”. I do this shit cause I hurt inside. I  walked all the way to hell because heaven doesn’t give rides. Can’t seem to rid myself of this foolish pride, but could care less if you chose to confide. .

. .in me…

 

Jessi

These Dreams of you make things appear to be clear.

But when I awake I’m  reminded  why you are no longer here.

To say why has  too long been my greatest fear.

But silence hurts more as months turn to years.

I was Angry at the world but I put it all on your name. Thinking back on it now it really was a shame.

You put up with emotionally heart wrenching pain. You withstood claims of crazy when clearly I’m whose insane.

I’m sorry I’ll never be able repress the urge to unload aggression in a negative way.  I’m sorry “I’m sorry” is the only thing I can bring myself to say.

I Wish I could give you the world I promised to make yours. Wish I had the keys to all of lifes doors.

Love was above all else in dire times. Stood by me when I fell into a life of crime. Stood by me when I owned less than a dime.

Now when I achieve ..it’s hard to believe you are no longer mine.

Hope you catch the biggest fish in the sea. I hope he’s all the good that … you hoped was in me.

I Hope he fights for you like the wars we would wage. I hope ‘ya latest book can do more than turn a page. I hope you attain more than that 600 square foot cage. I hope you shine bright up on life’s big stage.

 

Last but not least I hope ya son’s hearts beats forever. Strong is the only thing to be in his endeavor. Couldn’t find a better way to say the things on my mind. Just hope ya give these words a few moments of ya time.