Reflective

I am a whisper in the wind. .a murmur along the breeze.
I bring descruction, chaos, blood shed, and more

I yearn to be something greater than I.
I would like to be something the people. .adore.

Instead I am regret; disappointing disbelief

Embracing my nature is hard.
but lying to myself. .is harder.

[Copyright]

Pawn

A deep deep pit of deep deep sorrow.
Leave me sleep sleep walking through the days of tomorrow.
Let the feeling wash wash away the errors of your perfection.
Let this feeling cut cut away your hopes of days without depression
Let me be be myself and let it be enough
Can’t they see see I’m here
why isn’t that enough?
I’ll love you like no other and hate you like the rest.
I’ll put you on my highest pedestal. .
or I’ll lay that ass to rest.
I’ll claim I am the worst and that you are the best
all the while giving everyone else the answers to my love’s test.
I’ll be the greatest ally that can defy the heavens or the sky’s
to bring down the earth and make water. .fly. .I guess. .
How I feel is that I’m hurting.
I’d tell you why, but I’m still learning.
That feelings aren’t mutual..
Stop asking me how I feel.
Do something about it.
.
.
Silence.

Anxiety

How I feel is like lungs without air. . . In this man’s world they told me to grow me a pair.
Alone and cold is what you read on the cover. . .Alone and cold is what these words deem discovered.
Without eyes I peek into the moonless abyss. Looking back now I wonder what was it I missed.
To make love turn into this thing called hate. I blame myself now for what I put all on fate.
Can’t shake this feeling of air without lung.
Can’t weave words that sit on the tip on my tongue.
Can’t help but sing songs that go un-sung.
Can’t help but die..in this life worth livin..I ask myself am I truly worth being forgiven?

Hate’s First Love

I hate that I love you. .
I love how you hate me. .
You know I would die for you. .
I know you would sacrifice me. .
For all that is good in me. .you only see the bad..
How can you not? When I’ve made life for you sad. .
I’m scared to live. .but I refuse to let death take me away. .
But if you no longer have need for me. .for what reason..should I stay?

Last Will

There are no tears that could stream down my face.There are no words that could bring back the grace. Forever the room remains silent.

I could hide from the sun…in fear of it’s heat. I could embrace the shadow’s that call my name.I will forever sleep on the horizon’s edge.

There is no other. .whom I could trust.There is no love in this heart.There is no wind for the dust I have become.

Take my energy. . .and make it yours.Become something better than I. And know..that I am forever…never. . .

Close your right eye. . .it burns me to stare. .Open the other  . .its white light I call despair. This cruel world is unjustly, fair.

Now I lay. . .in your cold arms. .and hope..that I can warm them..

[Copyright]

Feelings of You

So sick of cliche remarks about how one can love another.
For you I’d take the longest knife and stick it into my mother.
 –
I’d take a pillow to my face and make the only word I know to be:
Smother.
If all this meant that I could one day call you my:
Lover
 –
But Love hates regret and regret married the past.
The past clings to me because the present is just too fast.
 –
The future is never around because I refuse to fuck it.
and death wait’s quietly for me to kick the bucket.
 –
But all this matters nothing to me because i’m
Stuck in this loops that forbids me to see that i’m
 –
More than just a pawn in your hand.
I am a king with kingly demand.
 –
But I’ll check any mate at any rate if that’s what it takes. . .
 –
because. . .
 –
I’m so sick of cliche remarks about love
About roses being red and the heaven’s above
 –
I’d rape mother earth
and kill father time..
I rip apart the fabric of space..
just to make ‘You’ transform into ‘Mine’.
 –
I’d jump from heaven . .
A placed deemed /too/ divine.
 –
Join Satan and dwell in hell
Fight angel’s both high and ones who have fell
 –
I’d Tell God I have a story to tell,
About a man who had a soul to sell
 –
and it’s price was..
You.