Running

For too long I’ve been running away from thoughts of being happy.

I wonder when I began to hate myself so much.

I deny myself the greater things in life that keep me in touch.

With those who surround me and lift me up to feel content.

Meanwhile all I crave is for a cold blade to get bent. ..

into the hearts of those I love.

I’m selfish until I feel selfless enough to give you my pain.

Eyes wander deep as thoughts questions the brain.

I’m not crazy. I’m not reckless. I’m not insane. I just refuse to let society tame the beast that feasts

on the innocents of those deemed lucky.

Wondering why now all of a sudden  the world wants to fuck me. .

then tuck me. .in the bed I made for the enemies of tomorrow.

While yesterday just. .wants to stay in my darkened hollow.

Chest.

 

 

Writers Block

Can’t seem to find the words to describe what it is I lack.

Looking for what motivates to pick up on my slack.

Feeling drained of my artistic adrenaline rush. World’s greatest canvas; but dry remains the brush.

Used to be told to “Hush” these thoughts of suicide that never seem to die. Walking unaffected with baggage that make others want to cry.

I know the truth yet for some reason I can’t stop this lie…I tell myself in the mirror.

“It’s not your fault. You are the monster your peers created.”

If that’s true then why must I stay heavily sedated.

Why not go all out on the world. Why not add to the darkness and turmoil?

Because I created myself.

If I told you I didn’t like being evil don’t believe me. If you see me helping others PLEASE don’t percieve me; to be a good guy or die by my hands.

I got a date with the devil so no, we can not make “plans.” Fuck people who do things like this for their “Fans”. I do this shit cause I hurt inside. I  walked all the way to hell because heaven doesn’t give rides. Can’t seem to rid myself of this foolish pride, but could care less if you chose to confide. .

. .in me…

 

Late night knock

Hello world..it’s been a while.

Not since we’ve talked; but since I’ve cracked a smile.

Things are smoothing.

I should be happy right?

Can’t find the words or pictures all in spite. .of being an artist who is usually out of sight.

Hopefully you can help me understand feelings that go misunderstood.

Whether you view me as an equal or a youth from the hood.

How do I know when my goals have been accomplished. How can I attain peace in a world that is surely rotten.

Can I. . .knock on your door in the middle of the night. .

Would you open the door and ask “Are you alright?”

And if I said “No. . This world I can no longer fight.”

Or would you. .pull  the trigger so i can see the tunnel’s light.

Tresspassing was the crime. But the real crime is nobody has the time to see past the rhymes. Perception heals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ol’ No name

Sleeping. Dreaming. Screaming.
Thoughts run wild right out of my mind.

Teasing. Pleasing. Reasons.
Divine flower of my hour Can I. .

Climb your highest tower
Cascading showers of my

sweat blood and tears all dry
in the presence of your darkest fears.

Sleeping. Screaming. Dreaming
of a world that is much better than this.

Screaming. Dreaming. Sleeping.
In the eternally darkened  abyss.

Idle Mind

Sitting on clouds: Protecting the earth from solar rays. . 
. .What I mean now. .is I'm shielding the people I love from my selfish ways

Firing back at those who've done me wrong, but I'm doing it the right way.
Professional calls, social reform. In the night I hope they pray. 

Hoping they know what could have been. So easy for a lost soul to sin. 
These lives are too easy to end, but my level is set to difficult. 

I'm the boss. . I walk proud without any miracles.
No handicaps and no looking back. 

Just a man with idle time. Reflections of crimes done in his 
darker times. 



Darkness

I turned my back on the light
Submerged myself in the pain
 
I hate the feeling of hope
That shit drives me insane
 
They want us to pray it gets better
I still add fuel to the flames
 
Cause if this bitch gone burn
then who are we to complain?
 
You think I’m mad cause I failed?
Thinking I’m bitter from trying?
 
If so; Think again my friend.
I’m upset with the lying.
 
They told me I ‘could be more.’
They said one day I’ll ‘succeed. ‘
 
Now the only thing I believe
is that the darkness can breed
 
A stronger man than the light
I’m conditioned for worse.
 
No expectation of greatness
I’m just embracing this curse. 
 
And if you feel like all I do
is make the situation feel worse
 
Then listen to my story 
and with everything you are
Try not to burst
 
Into tears for my fellow peers
who cannot conjure the strength
To admit the right is ‘sometimes wrong.’
and wrong feels ‘better than right.’
 
All my friends are blinded by light
that promise more than the shade
 
Viewed differently because there 
are none I would save.
 
From the darkness.

Weakness in the Moment

Rueful intentions in your eyes
Awaken suddenly to your absence; a surprise
I used to sip upon your presence
then I would feast on your soul
To make you smile was my porpose
To lift you up was my goal
Needing you near; I have grown fond:
-Of your voice and of your touch
To say that I have no love for you
would be just a little ‘Too much~”
Wish I could have stopped time
to preserve those moments of bliss
But i have to be strong and overcome
sweet, tense, hot, scenes of momentary
weakness.

2nd attempt at 100 writing prompts! Check out the content by click the YouTube Channel link on the left side of the site.